Wednesday, March 20, 2013

25 Things About a 25 Year Old Babe




Today is Cerise's 25th birthday and I was lucky enough to score her. Here are a few things about my best friend.

1.       Cerise is a babe.
Cerise 5 months pregnant with Calvin. We were walking around in Newport and she wouldn't really let me take pictures of her. So as she was climbing down some rocks I yelled "CERISE" and she turned around and I snapped this. It either looks like she had been posing for like 18 seconds or she is calmly holding a boulder with her right hand. Surprisingly enough, neither of those were the case.
  

2.       Cerise loves Japanese and Korean dramas. (These are not like the infamous Telenovelas. These “dramas” are like 16 hour long silly, juvenile American romantic comedies. It’s a big deal if the main couple kisses. Like I said, these are not like Telenovelas.)


3.       This.
Cerise is the least lazy person that I know which makes this so much funnier to me. The other day I asked Cerise, "Honey, how many times do you think you've put the roll on the dispenser since we got married?" She thought for a second and said, honestly, "Probably 7 or 8 times." We've been married 4 and a half years.

4.       Cerise can make some mean Japanese food.

5.       Cerise craves Kimchee Chigae (Kimchee Soup) when she is pregnant.

6.       Cerise demands my Orange Julius almost on a daily basis when she is pregnant.

7.       Cerise makes me amazing lunches and packs them in the same lunch containers used by 9 year old Japanese school girls. Not complaining.


Ants on a log, hold the ants. Asian style sweet potatoes. Chicken salad with cucumbers cut into star shapes.


8.      Cerise is really bad with faces and names. She also cannot recognize someone if their facial hair has changed at all. One of her clients who she dealt with weekly for two years shaved his mustache. Cerise had no idea who he was when he came in without the mustache.

9.       Cerise has a “Rainman” –like ability to remember what people wear. She might not remember your face, but she will remember what kind of stilettos you wore three years ago.

10.   Cerise forgives and forgets. She empties her “cache” of grievances on a daily basis. She literally forgets that I was being a complete idiot the day before. This is absolutely cash money.

11.    Cerise has a 10 year plan and she updates it every 6 months.

12.    Cerise hides Nutella from me sometimes (...to get a “head start”).
One time, she hid the Nutella out in the open. I reached to grab the new container to open it up and she said, "Hey, let's leave it unopened for a while." In the meantime, she had opened the container and was eating just the middle part so the sides of the container looked like there was Nutella all the way up. I laughed uncontrollably when I discovered her dirty little secret. In her defense, there have been countless times when I finished off ice cream or Oh's cereal without telling her.

13.    Cerise could eat just rolls and pizza crusts the rest of her life and be completely happy.
       She wishes I were one of those people who doesn’t eat the crust.

14.  Cerise does not hold grudges. She has made it one of her life goals to not hold any grudges and she doesn't. The last grudge she held was when a girl in middle school made fun of Cerise's outfit in front of a large group of people since Cerise was on a low "school clothes" budget (she bought all of her own school clothes since she was one of 8 kids in a military family). Keep in mind this girl had divorced parents and played them both to get thousands of dollars of clothes. The girl had a point though. Black AND maroon at the same time? Come on, Cerise.

15.    Cerise's biggest pet peeve is when someone tries to psychoanalyze her. 

16.     Cerise talks in her sleep a lot. As you can see here and here.
 
Cerise sleeping on a train in Japan.



Cerise 75% asleep on a train in Japan.

17.    Cerise loves Sudoku. Sudoku even helps her when she’s in labor.

18.    Cerise loves Christmas and wears Christmas socks year round.
Cerise wearing Christmas socks in September 2009.

19.    Cerise doesn’t even notice sometimes that people are hitting on her. One time Cerise and I caravanned (not carpooled, we just drove close to each other on the freeway) to work since we worked like 2 miles away from each other and she got off 5 hours before me. So these dudes in a work truck were driving next to her and yelling to get the attention of my 5 month pregnant wife. She didn’t even notice they were there. They kept yelling and I drove up next to those guys and started yelling at them. Not my proudest moment. They said, “What’s your problem? Is that your wife or something? (Sarcastically)” I said, “Yes, it is my wife. (Swear words) and I'm going to call your company.” They started swerving in and around traffic to get away from me thinking that I was going to write down the number on the back of their work truck and report them to their company. The best part is that Cerise had absolutely no idea that any of this happened until I told her.

20.   Cerise had a stalker at work and didn’t tell me for a while. The dude had a stiletto fetish and would ask if he could borrow Cerise’s stiletto to fix his bike gears. Every day. She started wearing flats to work and I dropped her off at work and picked her up until the guy stopped.

21.    Cerise knows where my stuff, her stuff, and the kids’ stuff is. I don’t even know where my stuff is. 
      A conversation similar to this happens in our marriage almost daily: 
      Lynn: "Hey honey, have you seen the USB cord for my camera?" 
      Cerise: "Yes, if you look in Calvin's closet in the cardboard box labeled 'Bedroom/Computer - Misc.' under Calvin's old jumper then you should see the old colorful backpack you bought in Korea. The USB cord is under the backpack in a little baggy with the charger from our old laptop and a bunch of other cords."

22.   Cerise is very organized. Her dream job would be to get paid to organize rich people’s houses for them. When people move, she loves helping them organize.
Some of her organizational strategies:
a)      If you haven’t worn it in the last year, throw it away - no questions asked.
b)      If it’s something that means something to you, but you don’t actually use it... take a picture and save that picture in a “Sentimental” folder on your computer. Then throw that crap away. (It will be easier to see those things anyway since they'll be in an easily accessible folder instead of hidden for years in a box.)
c)       If you feel like you should get rid of something, but you want to keep it... put a bunch of those things in a “Time Capsule” cardboard box, tape it up, and put it under your bed for 6 months. If you don’t remember what is in the box and your life has been just fine without it, throw the whole box away (or take it to Salvation Army) without opening the box.

23.   Cerise only speaks to our kids in Japanese. She's not one of those people who is obsessed with her kids being bilingual. She just really wants our kids to be able to communicate with her Gramma (extent of Gramma's English: "banana" and "are you sleepy?").

24.   Cerise could have stayed at her company and risen the corporate ranks really easily, but she always wanted to be a stay at home mom.

25.   Cerise is an amazing wife and most importantly, an amazing mom.



     

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Merry Christmas

We made Christmas cards for the first time ever. We hope to send out Christmas cards for the first time ever next year. Since my birthday is January 1st, I asked Cerise if we could have Happy New Year on the back. 

I asked if we could make it a Where's Waldo Happy New Year and she said no. Then I reminded her how great the Where's Waldo at the beach was and so she agreed. I think she mainly agreed knowing we weren't going to actually send them out this year. S'all good. 

My wife is a babe and I have two healthy children. Couldn't be more stoked. Much love to our friends and family during the holidays.



Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Haircut

We gave Yoshibaby his first major haircut. Cerise has trimmed his hair in the past, but he has been growing his baby hair mop for a while now. We wanted to grow it out past the awkward phase, but we decided to just cut it down before growing it out again.

Cutting a baby/toddler's hair is challenging. He stabbed his toy shark with a comb for 15 minutes straight and that helped, but little man gets wiggly. If anyone has any pointers about cutting the hair of small humans, we are all ears.

Have you seen a cuter kid with the back hair of a 43 year old Serbian man?

Back hair that would make even Grampa Markham jealous.


Shark!

Like I said, little man gets wiggly.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Baby Momma Still Talks in Her Sleep

Like I mentioned last time, these aren't supposed to be clever or funny. They are just things my wife has said in her sleep. 


(Please note that when she is saying these things she sounds very serious, convincing, and sometimes very angry at me as designated by the ALL CAPS.)


L:  Hey honey, should we move him to the crib?
C:  What? Why? What? I DON'T EVEN SEE HOW YOU GUYS ARE RELATED.
November 7, 2011 11:28pm


C:  Hey Lynn, can you take Ephraim ferocious to the DAT? (Ephraim is Cerise's brother who works in IT)
L:  The DAT? like the dental test?
C:  Mm hmm.
L:  So ephraim's going into dentistry?
C:  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
December 31, 2011 1:24am


Our son Calvin talks in his sleep like his momma. At 7 months when his only words were "Up" and "Bob":
“Up up up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up up up. Up Up.” 
January 1, 2012 9:27pm


“Is it ferree's birthday today? Is it july 31st?” (Ferree is Cerise's sister, and her birthday is January 20)
February 4, 2012 12:58am


Cerise, not asleep (Japan, May 2012)




C:  Hey honey, is the stadio going to be done in 24 hours?
L:  Stadio? Do you mean stadium?
C:  Yeah, stadium. That big thing.
March 7, 2012 11:25pm


C:  Honey you're the best. Sorry I was being so grumpy earlier.
L:  When were you being grumpy?
C:  When you were taking off the cardigan.
March 8, 2012 1:18am


C:  I guess. I guess so.
L:  You guess what honey?
C:  Lots of bubbles.
March 14, 2012 12:28am


C:  Suntaaaan. Suntan. Santanna. He's going to take our washing.
L:  What else is he going to take?
C:  I don't know what else he will take. Maybe our laundry.
March 21, 2012 12:57am


Cerise, asleep

L:  Honey, why are you sleeping like that? It looks uncomfortable.

C:  Because I solved them already.
L:  What did you solve?
C:  I solved the cases.
L:  Which cases?
C:  The one with the ring. All the mysteries.  
(We had just watched the psych episode where the 5 million dollar ring gets stolen by the groom’s sister)
March 24, 2012 11:10pm


C:  Man, back to real life, ya know?
L:  Back to real life?
C:  Yeah, back to real life.
L:  What are you dreaming about honey?
C:  Kids. And having zebras.
April 4, 2012 11:08pm

It's nice with my phone because now I can email myself with the subject "Cerise talking in her sleep" from my phone whenever Cerise starts talking. Very convenient and organized.




Cerise and I threw a Sushi/Korean BBQ party for my family. Cerise was up late after everyone left since she had to give a talk at 9am the next day at church. She is terrible at staying up to do things like that so I had to badger her every time I saw her dozing off:

L:  Honey, what are you thinking about?
C:  Bread. I was thinking about bread. Have you seen the picture of the lunch chicken that's like a pink paste. I was thinking about that and how it looks like bread.

(5 minutes later)

L:  Honey, what are you doing??
C:  White House. I was thinking about the White House and how much it would cost if you wanted to rent out a room there.

(4 minutes later)

L:  What are you thinking about right now?
C:  Baths. Roman baths.

(8 minutes later)

L:  Honey, you need to wake up.
C:  Yeah, I know. I was just thinking about how people can decorate cupcakes so delicately on the top sometimes.
April 5, 2012 11:41pm


Cerise falls partially asleep mid-sentence sometimes:

L:  Honey, I think it's your turn actually.
C:  No, I prayed last night. Remember? 'Cuz I tried to keep the cats from running. And the cat looked like a really weird cartoon head, with like the hair.
L:  Cats?
C:  Yeah, it was something about Mitt Romney and his hair looked like a cat. 'Cuz when we prayed last night you kept getting distracted and quiet.
April 24, 2012 11:26pm
(Cerise left the door open that morning as she came back inside to grab her phone. A cat walked into our house and surprised both of us.)




Cerise, 6 months pregnant with Calvin (Newport Beach, Feb 2011)


“The Magic School Bus going to different, like, eco systems.”
May 6, 2012 9:30pm


C:  (Tons of random japanese)
L:  I don’t understand Japanese. What are you saying, babe?
C:  What I'm going to see when I print all this out. Right now I don't see anything.
May 6, 2012 9:53pm


“I hope all of the instructions and everything is a lot cheaper. There's a lot of training.”
May 6, 2012 10:12pm


C:  I was wondering about all of those payments.
L:  Which payments?
C:  Life ins... not your life insurance but your chinese people.
L:  Chinese people?
C:  Mm hmm.
L:  Which chinese people?
C:  WHAT?
May 6, 2012 10:16pm


C:  The insurance caught load.
L:  What do you mean honey?
C:  The actual saying is a little cheaper, so that's nice, but the insurance doesn't actually carry it.
L:  The insurance caught load?
C:  I was just saying it’s cheaper. You get more money if you're older or if you're younger.
May 6, 2012 10:25pm


“The seatbelt seat looks soooo comfortable.”
May 12, 2012 12:42am


C:  Signing up for the blues. And baseball.
L:  What?
C:  Mm hmm.
May 17, 2012 11:49pm


C:   Are you mixing and matching? With the door sales. With all of the treats and stuff.
L:   Mixing and matching?
C:  The sign on the door says mixing and matching.. getting treats while you study. (5 second pause) Are you quoting this? I'm making perfect sense. Stop it. I'm not that asleep.
July 8, 2012 12:32am