Baby Momma Still Talks in Her Sleep

Like I mentioned last time, these aren't supposed to be clever or funny. They are just things my wife has said in her sleep. 


(Please note that when she is saying these things she sounds very serious, convincing, and sometimes very angry at me as designated by the ALL CAPS.)

L:  Hey honey, should we move him to the crib?

C:  What? Why? What? I DON'T EVEN SEE HOW YOU GUYS ARE RELATED.

November 7, 2011 11:28pm

C:  Hey Lynn, can you take Ephraim ferocious to the DAT? (Ephraim is Cerise's brother who works in IT)

L:  The DAT? like the dental test?

C:  Mm hmm.

L:  So ephraim's going into dentistry?

C:  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

December 31, 2011 1:24am

Our son Calvin talks in his sleep like his momma. At 7 months when his only words were "Up" and "Bob":

“Up up up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up up up. Up Up.” 

January 1, 2012 9:27pm

“Is it ferree's birthday today? Is it july 31st?” (Ferree is Cerise's sister, and her birthday is January 20)

February 4, 2012 12:58am

Cerise, not asleep (Japan, May 2012)

C:  Hey honey, is the stadio going to be done in 24 hours?

L:  Stadio? Do you mean stadium?

C:  Yeah, stadium. That big thing.

March 7, 2012 11:25pm

C:  Honey you're the best. Sorry I was being so grumpy earlier.

L:  When were you being grumpy?

C:  When you were taking off the cardigan.

March 8, 2012 1:18am

C:  I guess. I guess so.

L:  You guess what honey?

C:  Lots of bubbles.

March 14, 2012 12:28am

C:  Suntaaaan. Suntan. Santanna. He's going to take our washing.

L:  What else is he going to take?

C:  I don't know what else he will take. Maybe our laundry.

March 21, 2012 12:57am

Cerise, asleep

L:  Honey, why are you sleeping like that? It looks uncomfortable.

C:  Because I solved them already.

L:  What did you solve?

C:  I solved the cases.

L:  Which cases?

C:  The one with the ring. All the mysteries.  

(We had just watched the psych episode where the 5 million dollar ring gets stolen by the groom’s sister)

March 24, 2012 11:10pm

C:  Man, back to real life, ya know?

L:  Back to real life?

C:  Yeah, back to real life.

L:  What are you dreaming about honey?

C:  Kids. And having zebras.

April 4, 2012 11:08pm

It's nice with my phone because now I can email myself with the subject "Cerise talking in her sleep" from my phone whenever Cerise starts talking. Very convenient and organized.

Cerise and I threw a Sushi/Korean BBQ party for my family. Cerise was up late after everyone left since she had to give a talk at 9am the next day at church. She is terrible at staying up to do things like that so I had to badger her every time I saw her dozing off:

L:  Honey, what are you thinking about?

C:  Bread. I was thinking about bread. Have you seen the picture of the lunch chicken that's like a pink paste. I was thinking about that and how it looks like bread.

(5 minutes later)

L:  Honey, what are you doing??

C:  White House. I was thinking about the White House and how much it would cost if you wanted to rent out a room there.

(4 minutes later)

L:  What are you thinking about right now?

C:  Baths. Roman baths.

(8 minutes later)

L:  Honey, you need to wake up.

C:  Yeah, I know. I was just thinking about how people can decorate cupcakes so delicately on the top sometimes.

April 5, 2012 11:41pm

Cerise falls partially asleep mid-sentence sometimes:

L:  Honey, I think it's your turn actually.

C:  No, I prayed last night. Remember? 'Cuz I tried to keep the cats from running. And the cat looked like a really weird cartoon head, with like the hair.

L:  Cats?

C:  Yeah, it was something about Mitt Romney and his hair looked like a cat. 'Cuz when we prayed last night you kept getting distracted and quiet.

April 24, 2012 11:26pm

(Cerise left the door open that morning as she came back inside to grab her phone. A cat walked into our house and surprised both of us.)

Cerise, 6 months pregnant with Calvin (Newport Beach, Feb 2011)

“The Magic School Bus going to different, like, eco systems.”

May 6, 2012 9:30pm

C:  (Tons of random japanese)

L:  I don’t understand Japanese. What are you saying, babe?

C:  What I'm going to see when I print all this out. Right now I don't see anything.

May 6, 2012 9:53pm

“I hope all of the instructions and everything is a lot cheaper. There's a lot of training.”

May 6, 2012 10:12pm

C:  I was wondering about all of those payments.

L:  Which payments?

C:  Life ins... not your life insurance but your chinese people.

L:  Chinese people?

C:  Mm hmm.

L:  Which chinese people?

C:  WHAT?

May 6, 2012 10:16pm

C:  The insurance caught load.

L:  What do you mean honey?

C:  The actual saying is a little cheaper, so that's nice, but the insurance doesn't actually carry it.

L:  The insurance caught load?

C:  I was just saying it’s cheaper. You get more money if you're older or if you're younger.

May 6, 2012 10:25pm

“The seatbelt seat looks soooo comfortable.”

May 12, 2012 12:42am

C:  Signing up for the blues. And baseball.

L:  What?

C:  Mm hmm.

May 17, 2012 11:49pm

C:   Are you mixing and matching? With the door sales. With all of the treats and stuff.

L:   Mixing and matching?

C:  The sign on the door says mixing and matching.. getting treats while you study. (5 second pause) Are you quoting this? I'm making perfect sense. Stop it. I'm not that asleep.

July 8, 2012 12:32am